The first week of tour — including H’update #2!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LiWByR7l4E

What you are about to read is an epic tale of hilarious disaster.

 

After yet another gorgeous, relaxed day spent in Boulder, we packed our bags and boarded the veggie bus, less than thrilled about driving east into stormy weather and grey skies. On the bright side, our tour karma  had been pretty amazing so far, so we tipped our hats to Colorado and yelled a fond “Farewell!” as we warmed-up the bus. httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7mfXdvDAhQ

“Wait…uh, I think the brake lights are stuck.”
“Stuck? What do you mean? They look fine to me.”
“Yeah but I mean they’re not working—like, they don’t respond when you press the brakes—they just stay lit constantly.”

 

First Problem:

 

The brake lights don’t work. We mess around with fuses and wires for an hour, then decide to hit the road regardless. We’ll drive slowly and make sure to turn cautiously—the most important thing is that we get to Kansas for our gig tomorrow night.

 

Part  Two:

 

About 20 minutes after our departure, we see flashing lights in the rearview—we’re being pulled over. The brake lights…
“Howdy officer—is there a problem?”
“Well, you failed to signal a couple miles back, and you were swerving onto the shoulder a little bit—is everything OK?”
“Yes , sir, absolutely.”
“No drinking or anything?”
“No, sir. I must have forgotten to signal, and this trailer’s a little difficult getting used to.”
“Yeah, I know how those things are. Well, I’m not gonna give you a ticket or anything—just make sure you signal, and try not to swerve that trailer.”
Christian hands the officer a CD, and we get back to driving. Good thing he didn’t notice the brake lights…

 

THEN (Part Three):

 

After an hour of driving into the heart of eastern Colorado, Joey stands up.
“YO—Christian, turn the lights on! Turn the lights on! I think there’s grease back here!”
And he was right. We flip the cabin lights, only to find that THERE IS GREASE EVERYWHERE!! Oozing down the center aisle of the bus, slathering our clothing and sleeping bags. We are literally in the middle of nowhere—and in fact, it’s quite beautiful outside. The stars are the brightest we’ve seen on the tour—the air is clean and crisp. We’re in the desert.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13oX1HXfAI4

Which means…there’s a lot of dry dirt everywhere. In a quick-thinking moment of genius, Justine grabs our emergency  snow shovel and starts padding the floor of the bus with dirt. Several of the band members are skeptical—we’re shoveling dirt into a bus filled with garbage oil—-but it actually works. We get the mess reasonably cleaned up, transfer our personal belongings to the trailer, and FINALLY start heading to Kansas.

 

Part Four: The final chapter—

 

When we heard a loud pop and started smelling burning rubber, we knew we were screwed. We’d only been on the highway for 25 SECONDS!! Our tour karma had reversed. This  was the last straw. We opened the hood and found the serpentine belt tangled in a knot and half-melted.

 

As the the tow truck pulled-up, I couldn’t believe this was all happening—WHAT A DAY! Sitting on the hotel bed, it seemed like the only thing we could do was laugh and have a beer.

 

And the beer was perfect.

 

WYOMING!!! Just minutes out of Nebraska, the temperature is up (40 degrees), the sun is shining, we found the cheapest diesel price so far ($2.14/gallon), and we also snagged some veggie oil for the bus. Halelujah! I also just had the best Subway sandwich of my life (12 inch veggie sub on toasted “Italian herbs and cheese” bread, with banana peppers, green peppers, olives, spinach, lettuce, tomato, and honey mustard sauce). I’ve had this combination of ingredients before, but this time the lady wrapping the sandwich was so nice. She really hooked-it-up. 

 

Check out this video of the Wyoming grease run: 

 

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfiXq0ruHEw

 

Thank you Wyoming!

 

Band morale is high as we cruise the last 90 miles to Fort Collins. 

 

***

 

 

We arrived at the club with plenty of time to get some KILLER GREASE (the cleanest we’ve ever seen) from Taipan Restaurant (thank you). After filling the tank with vegetable oil and eating way too much food at Rasta Pasta, we got on stage and rocked a 60 minute set. There weren’t many people in the club, but by the last song (“White Lies”) people were starting to fill the dance floor, and seemed to be having a great time. 

Now for my favorite part of the night: ROCKING OUT to Bustle In Your Hedgerow, an absolutely all-star lineup of ridiculous musicians playing instrumental versions of Led Zeppelin tunes. In case you haven’t heard of these guys, you should know that the band is comprised of Marco Benevento and Joe Russo (from The Benevento/Russo Duo), Dave Driewitz (from Ween) and Scott Metzger (from Rana, and formely of Particle). I know I’ve written quite a bit in CAPS so far, but I’ll take it all back to emphasize that Joe Russo is an ABSOLUTE MONSTER ON THE DRUMS!!! I’ve seldom heard anybody rock with the true spirit of John Bonham…it was beautiful to watch. To top it all of, these guys were really great people—totally down-to-earth—the nicest rock stars I’ve ever met. We had a blast hanging with them. 

 

During the show, we met a crazy character named Jacob—a total B.A. (bad ass), who invited us to crash at his place (Thank you Jacob, you are the man!). We stayed-up pretty late listening to Herbie Hancock’s “Feets Don’t Fail Me Now,” and some Crosby, Stills, and Nash, and when we woke up the next morning it was 55 degrees outside and sunny. What a relief from the Michigan cold! After a quick stop at the local food co-op, as well as a great coffee shop called The Bean Cycle, we hopped on the veggie bus and started cruising to Boulder. 

 

This tour is turning out to be a pretty amazing experience. 

 

More to come…

 

–The [rewind] button